I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
