I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
