omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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