It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
