Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
