But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
