and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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