nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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