whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
