I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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