If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
