If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
