guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
