I feel like abortions should bother me more
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
