I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
