Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
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He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue