Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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