i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that