belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
