It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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