Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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