Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
