i think my mom watched the whole time
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
