Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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