I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover