4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why is there glitter IN my vagina????