I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.