I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I deserve this hangover.
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