I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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