We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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