Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
3pm strippers are depressing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
