'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
