yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
