I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
