rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
