i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
