so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
