as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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