I think my vagina is haunted
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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