its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
