Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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