I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
