I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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