I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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