if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
