I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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