This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
