I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
