you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize