It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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