plz talk dirty to me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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