Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so let's talk penis.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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