just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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