She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize