Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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