i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
