there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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