I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
pray to the hookup gods
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
