this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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