i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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