I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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