Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
