BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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